I know I'm a few days behind on this post; but I feel this subject was important enough to give it a little more time.
Last week's goal was learning how to forgive yourself. Doing what you can to fix your mistakes, then having the courage to move on. Letting go of baggage so you can focus on LIVING your life instead in staying mired in the past.
How did you do? I know this is something I've struggled with my entire life - but I am getting better at it. If nothing else, hopefully you were able to let go of some of the minor things you've regretted. Sometimes, tackling the bigger issues takes some planning and major readjustment of your habits and behavior.
Self forgiveness. Great concept, hard to do. Like any other skill you want to master, it takes practice. It takes time. But once that burden is lifted, it can be so liberating!
To change subjects, this month happens to have five weeks in it, and I only had four weekly goals planned.
Hmmm.
I think maybe I'll use my next post to recap March's focus of "self" and review each of the weekly goals. For those of you just joining me, it will be as if you've missed nothing at all.
You can thank me later ;)
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Sunday, March 27, 2011
To Forgive, Divine
First of all, thanks to those who've let me know you're reading and enjoying this blog; it really makes it worth the effort :)
There is a quote which states "To err is human; to forgive, divine." My interpretation of the first part is: due to human nature, we will make mistakes. No one is perfect; it's a matter of when, not if, we are bound to do something wrong. And while everyone makes mistakes, not everyone is equipped to forgive others their shortcomings. This is where the second section of the saying comes in. While it's within human nature to err, learning to forgive is often something which fails to come naturally. It's an attribute worthy to strive towards, one that will elevate us a to a higher level of living.
While we recognize the importance of forgiving others, how often do we realize the necessity of applying this concept to ourselves. I would even like to argue that in order to fully be able to forgive others, we must first be able to move beyond our own shortcomings.
What is the danger of hanging on to past mistakes? An example that comes to mind is when I played basketball in high school. I worked hard and had some natural ability, yet during my sophomore and junior years, I often found myself on the bench for varsity games. I stressed and wondered why I didn't play more minutes. After analyzing my performance, I came to a startling conclusion - I had been responsible for the coach's hesitance to play me. I realized that whenever I made a mistake while playing, I was obsessively worried and focused about what I'd done. Instead of moving on, I was stuck replaying what had gone wrong, becoming an ineffectual player for the remainder of the game. Luckily, I was able to adjust my mindset during my senior year, and as a result, played more minutes and even started some games.
In life, how often are we trapped or paralyzed by holding on to our past mistakes, basically taking ourselves "out of the game"? Life goes on whether we're prepared or not, so it's up to us to forgive ourselves, forget our mistakes, and once more became an effective player.
What things prevent us from self forgiveness? The following behaviors are some I have personally struggled with:
Don't get me wrong - I'm not saying it's okay to do anything you want without care for the consequences. There are mistakes which definitely need to be rectified, especially those that affect your relationships with others. I recommend that you do what you can to fix it, try never to do it again, and then move on.
After all, YOU are the most important player in your game of life... and it's just not worth taking yourself indefinitely out of the game.
There is a quote which states "To err is human; to forgive, divine." My interpretation of the first part is: due to human nature, we will make mistakes. No one is perfect; it's a matter of when, not if, we are bound to do something wrong. And while everyone makes mistakes, not everyone is equipped to forgive others their shortcomings. This is where the second section of the saying comes in. While it's within human nature to err, learning to forgive is often something which fails to come naturally. It's an attribute worthy to strive towards, one that will elevate us a to a higher level of living.
While we recognize the importance of forgiving others, how often do we realize the necessity of applying this concept to ourselves. I would even like to argue that in order to fully be able to forgive others, we must first be able to move beyond our own shortcomings.
What is the danger of hanging on to past mistakes? An example that comes to mind is when I played basketball in high school. I worked hard and had some natural ability, yet during my sophomore and junior years, I often found myself on the bench for varsity games. I stressed and wondered why I didn't play more minutes. After analyzing my performance, I came to a startling conclusion - I had been responsible for the coach's hesitance to play me. I realized that whenever I made a mistake while playing, I was obsessively worried and focused about what I'd done. Instead of moving on, I was stuck replaying what had gone wrong, becoming an ineffectual player for the remainder of the game. Luckily, I was able to adjust my mindset during my senior year, and as a result, played more minutes and even started some games.
In life, how often are we trapped or paralyzed by holding on to our past mistakes, basically taking ourselves "out of the game"? Life goes on whether we're prepared or not, so it's up to us to forgive ourselves, forget our mistakes, and once more became an effective player.
What things prevent us from self forgiveness? The following behaviors are some I have personally struggled with:
- unrealistic expectations
- feelings of unworthiness
- focusing on what others might think
Don't get me wrong - I'm not saying it's okay to do anything you want without care for the consequences. There are mistakes which definitely need to be rectified, especially those that affect your relationships with others. I recommend that you do what you can to fix it, try never to do it again, and then move on.
After all, YOU are the most important player in your game of life... and it's just not worth taking yourself indefinitely out of the game.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
An Honest Woman
This little guy is trying his hardest to ensure I remain an honest woman:
Remember THIS post about embracing the fact I've turned forty by not feeling ashamed to tell others my age? It seems my child is determined to hold me to that; he's been taking great delight lately in announcing to the world (both friends and strangers) that his mom is now forty years old.
The lastest incidence happened over the weekend while visiting a park. My son and and another child were playing on a piece of bouncy equipment which had three seats, and they were wanting someone else to balance it out. The little girl turned to her mother and asked if she could join them. The mother took one look at the bouncy seat and declined, saying she was too big.
This is when my son pipes up and says,"That's okay - my mom was riding on it just a few minutes ago before you guys came and she's a lot bigger than you. She's FORTY years old!"
If anyone out there hasn't heard by now, yes - I'm forty. And if you care to disagree, just ask my little boy. He's more than ready to tell you just how old I am!
Remember THIS post about embracing the fact I've turned forty by not feeling ashamed to tell others my age? It seems my child is determined to hold me to that; he's been taking great delight lately in announcing to the world (both friends and strangers) that his mom is now forty years old.
The lastest incidence happened over the weekend while visiting a park. My son and and another child were playing on a piece of bouncy equipment which had three seats, and they were wanting someone else to balance it out. The little girl turned to her mother and asked if she could join them. The mother took one look at the bouncy seat and declined, saying she was too big.
This is when my son pipes up and says,"That's okay - my mom was riding on it just a few minutes ago before you guys came and she's a lot bigger than you. She's FORTY years old!"
If anyone out there hasn't heard by now, yes - I'm forty. And if you care to disagree, just ask my little boy. He's more than ready to tell you just how old I am!
Monday, March 21, 2011
Weekly Goal #4 - Forgiving Yourself
Wow, it's hard to believe the fourth week of March is already here! I don't know about you, but I'm ready for spring to stay.
It's the start of a new week, which means its time to begin work on a new goal. As the title of this post states, the goal for this week is "forgiving yourself".
I tend to be my own worst critic. When I make a mistake, I can harp over the issue for sometimes days or even weeks, depending on how important it was. I'm sure most everyone has felt the same way at some point. The result of this behavior is baggage we create for ourselves, baggage that we drag around. This baggage affects our ability to be happy, can prevent us from being productive, and interferes with our relationships with others. It may even eventually pull us down into depression.
This week, I'm going to resolve to stop beating myself up over past mistakes. When I do mess up - which will happen, as I'm only human - I will try to fix it the best I can and then move on. I am willing to forgive others; I need to extend that same courtesy to myself. After all, life is too short for dwelling on the "what ifs" and "should haves".
It's the start of a new week, which means its time to begin work on a new goal. As the title of this post states, the goal for this week is "forgiving yourself".
I tend to be my own worst critic. When I make a mistake, I can harp over the issue for sometimes days or even weeks, depending on how important it was. I'm sure most everyone has felt the same way at some point. The result of this behavior is baggage we create for ourselves, baggage that we drag around. This baggage affects our ability to be happy, can prevent us from being productive, and interferes with our relationships with others. It may even eventually pull us down into depression.
This week, I'm going to resolve to stop beating myself up over past mistakes. When I do mess up - which will happen, as I'm only human - I will try to fix it the best I can and then move on. I am willing to forgive others; I need to extend that same courtesy to myself. After all, life is too short for dwelling on the "what ifs" and "should haves".
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Checking In
First of all, I want to apologize to those of you who read my last post before I had a chance to proof it. I was a little distracted when I wrote it, which was pretty evident when I went back later and saw the many mistakes I'd made. Sorry to those of you who had to suffer through it!
Anyway, it's the end of the week, and you know what that means.
Time to see how the week went!
Did you try something new, or make a goal to do so? Hopefully, at the very least you were able to examine your life and think about any changes you might want to make.
I completed my goal by running in a 10K race yesterday:
Initially, I was a bit nervous about competing but I am SO GLAD I was able to overcome my fears. I had a great experience and beat my goal time by over three minutes. I finished in the top third of my age group and came in 294th out of 800 runners. I will definitely be doing this again!
Please check in tomorrow as I reveal the fourth and final goal of "finding self".
I hope you're having a wonderful weekend :)
Anyway, it's the end of the week, and you know what that means.
Time to see how the week went!
Did you try something new, or make a goal to do so? Hopefully, at the very least you were able to examine your life and think about any changes you might want to make.
I completed my goal by running in a 10K race yesterday:
with my littlest fan after the race
Initially, I was a bit nervous about competing but I am SO GLAD I was able to overcome my fears. I had a great experience and beat my goal time by over three minutes. I finished in the top third of my age group and came in 294th out of 800 runners. I will definitely be doing this again!
Please check in tomorrow as I reveal the fourth and final goal of "finding self".
I hope you're having a wonderful weekend :)
Friday, March 18, 2011
Overcoming Fear
Dare to dream, learn to fly
You'll never know until
you try...
As I posted at the beginning of the week, this week's goal is "try something new".
I've often wondered what it is that prevents someone from spreading their wings and breaking out of their comfort zone. There are many things one can use as an excuse - lack of time, money issues, and not knowing where to start, just to name a few. However, I believe these excuses are used to hide the much bigger reason we fail to push ourselves - FEAR.
Fear of making mistakes. Fear of ridicule. Fear of failure
And sometimes, even fear of success.
How many times have you wanted to try something new, only to be stopped by doubts and fears? I know some of the thoughts I've experienced are: What if it doesn't work? What if I end up looking foolish? What will others think of me?
I'm currently having some issues with my four-year-old about this very subject. He tends to be very routine-oriented and is somewhat of a perfectionist. As a result, he's hesitant about trying anything new and gets extremely upset if he can't do it right the first time. Sometimes, he'll even refuse to try at all if he feels he can't win or be the best at it. This reaction may seem childish and extreme, but how many of you have ever felt the same way?
What happens when you give in to your doubts? You end up staying in the safety of what you know and are comfortable with. I know you're thinking that doesn't sound like a bad place to be, and I guess it's not. Yet, it's not a good place to be, either. You see, if you always stick with the status quo, you create stasis - the opposite of change. The result? You end up cheating yourself by failing to provide opportunities for growth.
Our daughter has nearly the opposite attitude as our youngest; she is willing to give almost anything a try. As a result, she has found growth and happiness through a variety of experiences. One of these is swimming, a sport she took up when she was eight years old. For the past ten years, swimming has been a major part of her life as she's competed for both high school and club. Not only has she enjoyed success in winning the majority of her races, but the growth she has gained through dedication, sacrifice, and being part of a team has been outstanding. My husband and I cannot imagine what the past decade would have been like without swimming and know our daughter would not be the same person without having this experience. We are extremely grateful that at that critical point ten years ago, our daughter was willing to give this "new" activity a try!
Sometimes, working up the courage push out of a comfort zone is easier said that done. Here are some strategies I've found helpful:
You'll never know until
you try...
As I posted at the beginning of the week, this week's goal is "try something new".
I've often wondered what it is that prevents someone from spreading their wings and breaking out of their comfort zone. There are many things one can use as an excuse - lack of time, money issues, and not knowing where to start, just to name a few. However, I believe these excuses are used to hide the much bigger reason we fail to push ourselves - FEAR.
Fear of making mistakes. Fear of ridicule. Fear of failure
And sometimes, even fear of success.
How many times have you wanted to try something new, only to be stopped by doubts and fears? I know some of the thoughts I've experienced are: What if it doesn't work? What if I end up looking foolish? What will others think of me?
I'm currently having some issues with my four-year-old about this very subject. He tends to be very routine-oriented and is somewhat of a perfectionist. As a result, he's hesitant about trying anything new and gets extremely upset if he can't do it right the first time. Sometimes, he'll even refuse to try at all if he feels he can't win or be the best at it. This reaction may seem childish and extreme, but how many of you have ever felt the same way?
What happens when you give in to your doubts? You end up staying in the safety of what you know and are comfortable with. I know you're thinking that doesn't sound like a bad place to be, and I guess it's not. Yet, it's not a good place to be, either. You see, if you always stick with the status quo, you create stasis - the opposite of change. The result? You end up cheating yourself by failing to provide opportunities for growth.
Our daughter has nearly the opposite attitude as our youngest; she is willing to give almost anything a try. As a result, she has found growth and happiness through a variety of experiences. One of these is swimming, a sport she took up when she was eight years old. For the past ten years, swimming has been a major part of her life as she's competed for both high school and club. Not only has she enjoyed success in winning the majority of her races, but the growth she has gained through dedication, sacrifice, and being part of a team has been outstanding. My husband and I cannot imagine what the past decade would have been like without swimming and know our daughter would not be the same person without having this experience. We are extremely grateful that at that critical point ten years ago, our daughter was willing to give this "new" activity a try!
Sometimes, working up the courage push out of a comfort zone is easier said that done. Here are some strategies I've found helpful:
- Start small. If you're having difficulty breaking out of your comfort zone, trying expanding on something you already know or are comfortable with.
- Do it for yourself. Don't try something because of pressure from someone else. In order to have a good experience, you need do do it because YOU want to.
- Avoid setting yourself up to fail. When I decided to run a 10k, I knew I couldn't just show up the day of the race and expect to finish without training first. Take the necessary measures and preparation to succeed.
- If at first you don't succeed... If things don't go as planned, it's okay - maybe you'll get it right next time. It took Thomas Edison around 1000 tries before he created a working light bulb; I'm sure glad he didn't give it up after the the first time!
- There is no age limit. It's never too late to start, and you can definitely teach an old dog new tricks! A good example of this is acclaimed artist Grandma Moses, who didn't start painting until her eighties.
- Don't worry about what others might think. It's YOUR life, and other people shouldn't make judgements and assumptions. And if they do - who cares? The only person you should try to impress is yourself :)
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
What I am Doing
I thought I'd share the new thing I'm trying this week.
I'm planning to run my first 10k.
Friends who know me from high school are probably thinking 'what's the big deal about that?' For those of you who know little about me or my earlier years, let me share a bit of my background. I was a sprinter. A member of the high school track team for four years and a state champion in three events. I had scholarship offers, but an injury at the state meet my senior year put an end to pursuing a collegiate career. However, I loved running and continued to run regularly into my late twenties.
However, a year after the birth of my third child, I began to experience major health problems. Debilitating health problems. After a battery of tests was inconclusive, the doctors decided I was probably experiencing chronic fatigue syndrome. I would have bouts of intense fibromyalgia and painful joints, sometimes accompanied by phlebitis (swelling and irritation of the veins). For roughly a year, I was nearly bedridden. It was an extremely difficult time for me and my family, as you can imagine.
After making some lifestyle changes, I slowly began to improve. I resumed my regular activities as soon as I was able - almost all of them, that is. After months of trying to run, I learned my body could no long handle high impact exercise, and I sadly gave up my great love.
For ten years, I gradually became stronger. About two years ago, I decided the time had come to give running another try. We had just moved to St. George, and the climate is perfect for year-round training. I was a little hesitant to begin with, but after experimentation found I could handle 3-4 days of moderate training per week without flaring up my joint and muscle problems.
What a joy it's been to be able to return to something I loved so dearly! There have been adjustments made; I was a sprinter before, not a distance runner, and I don't know if I'll ever return to 100%. Yet, I've been able to compete in two 5k races so far. I decided it was time to push myself out of my comfort zone and tackle a 10k.
So there you have it - I'm trying my first 10k this weekend. Am I nervous? Yes, a bit. But, I can always walk it if I need to...and I'll never know if I can do it until I at least try.
I'm planning to run my first 10k.
Friends who know me from high school are probably thinking 'what's the big deal about that?' For those of you who know little about me or my earlier years, let me share a bit of my background. I was a sprinter. A member of the high school track team for four years and a state champion in three events. I had scholarship offers, but an injury at the state meet my senior year put an end to pursuing a collegiate career. However, I loved running and continued to run regularly into my late twenties.
However, a year after the birth of my third child, I began to experience major health problems. Debilitating health problems. After a battery of tests was inconclusive, the doctors decided I was probably experiencing chronic fatigue syndrome. I would have bouts of intense fibromyalgia and painful joints, sometimes accompanied by phlebitis (swelling and irritation of the veins). For roughly a year, I was nearly bedridden. It was an extremely difficult time for me and my family, as you can imagine.
After making some lifestyle changes, I slowly began to improve. I resumed my regular activities as soon as I was able - almost all of them, that is. After months of trying to run, I learned my body could no long handle high impact exercise, and I sadly gave up my great love.
For ten years, I gradually became stronger. About two years ago, I decided the time had come to give running another try. We had just moved to St. George, and the climate is perfect for year-round training. I was a little hesitant to begin with, but after experimentation found I could handle 3-4 days of moderate training per week without flaring up my joint and muscle problems.
What a joy it's been to be able to return to something I loved so dearly! There have been adjustments made; I was a sprinter before, not a distance runner, and I don't know if I'll ever return to 100%. Yet, I've been able to compete in two 5k races so far. I decided it was time to push myself out of my comfort zone and tackle a 10k.
So there you have it - I'm trying my first 10k this weekend. Am I nervous? Yes, a bit. But, I can always walk it if I need to...and I'll never know if I can do it until I at least try.
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